The Difference that Makes the Difference

Over the years of training players of many different age groups and a range of abilities, one of my goals is to always make the training session challenging and enjoyable for the players. It has been my experience that when players find the activities challenging and are having fun, the players show the most amount of effort and focus. The difficult part of building a training session is combining both of those elements in a balanced and effective way. Challenging can mean a lot of things, and it is not hard to make any activity challenging. The hard part is making an activity APPROPRIATELY challenging for the player. The same is true for the enjoyment. It is easy to make a session enjoyable. Play “World Cup” with the players and they will be smiling ear to ear. Fun is necessary for development, but fun does not always mean that development is taking place. The difference that makes all the difference in an outstanding training session and development opportunity is challenging the player appropriately and making it enjoyable for the players without a loss of purpose.

Optimal learning occurs when an activity is just outside of a player’s current ability level. Meaning, the player is going to have to stretch his limits slightly to accomplish what is being asked. If the task is out of reach and completely not feasible due to current level or age (cognitive ability), then frustration will firmly take hold and the players will shut down. If it is too easy, there will be a lack of focus and players can develop poor training habits and technique.

Think of it this way... if your friend was an expert mountain climber and he asked you to go climb with him, what do you think a reasonable approach to teaching you would be? If he wants you to immediately take on an inverted cliff that is only for experts, it will probably be something you decline to try and you will not enjoy yourself. If he underestimates your ability and you spend the day walking up a slight incline on the side of a hill, you may find yourself bored and a little insulted by your friends opinion of your capabilities.

If he brought you to a climbing area that is appropriate for your level, and a little challenging, you will not only be willing to climb, but you will also learn more and enjoy yourself.

If a training activity is not going well and the kids are struggling with it to the point they begin to shut down or stop trying, there is a chance that I asked them to do something that is either too far out of their reach or possibly too easy. Coaches often mistakenly just take it as the kids being lazy or there is a lack of focus, and the coach may attempted to be corrected it through running or yelling. The kids could be having a bad day and not really focusing, but more often than not, the reason for a lack of effort is due to the appropriateness of the activity.

All activities can be tweaked to be more difficult or more simple to make it more appropriate for the players. When the challenge is appropriate, the players’ work ethic will improve. A challenge being appropriate keeps success in reach which keeps kids motivated to achieve the goal of the activity. When it is too easy, the goal has already been achieved. When it is too hard, the goal looks miles away with no clear path to get there. Keeping the activity appropriately challenging shows the path keeps the goal in sight and a guided path on how to get there.

The benefit of the activity being appropriate challenging makes it enjoyable for the kids. They have more fun trying to learn the skills, even if they fail at first, because they can see they are not that far off. I have used the example of video games before. If a level was impossible to beat, it would not be very fun to play. When a level is difficult but the kids make progress and keep getting closer and closer to beating it, they cannot wait to try again after they fail. Not to mention, they are probably having a blast. On the flip side, if the level was really easy and they beat it on the first try, I am sure the kids would think that level was boring. If the entire game was like that, they would probably stop playing.

Since enjoying training is part of making it optimal for learning to make that key difference in development for the players, the coach has to make an effort to make the sessions fun. Part of that, as already has been explained, is the activities being appropriately challenging. The other part of it is making sure the environment, while being competitive, is a place where the kids can feel safe to compete.

Fun is a slippery slope at training, as it can be in any situation. All coaches want their players to enjoy training, but it needs to be done in the context of the learning goals for the session. For example, a coach can have their team just “scrimmage” all session. Although there are some things developmentally good about that, and the players will have fun (at first), does that help the players reach their individual and team goals? Players would have fun at first but if the coach continuously just had the kids play at practice, and did little else, even that will eventually become boring for the players.

More importantly, although the activity is a lot of fun, how is it helping the players move closer towards their developmental goals? When kids play, they want to get better. When they come to training, they want to be challenged to move beyond what they currently do. Fun can quickly cause players to lose focus due to being too distracted from the task at hand or become bored as the “fun” has no direction.

Fun is important, but it has to add focus to the session. Not take it away. When the coach can make activities competitive and fun for the kids, while being appropriate challenging, the coach has created the best possible learning environment for the kids. The most enjoyable training sessions kids participate in are ones that fit this criteria. The coach challenged them, encouraged them, had fun with them, and provided an environment that would help them get better.

When designing your training sessions, do not create a session that is too complicated and far beyond your players’ ability levels. Also, avoid creating a session that is just nothing more than a series of Knock Out and World Cup type of activities. Although they are fun at times, they should be used as part of a means to the end, or in other words, a way to help players get to their next development level. It is easy to make a practice too hard or too easy. The difficult part of coaching, where the skill of craft resides, is being able to develop training sessions that make players train just slightly beyond their current level and they do it with a smile. That is the difference that will make all the difference for your players.

Things That Last

At the end of the each season, it is normal to try to take inventory of what was gained or lost over the course of the year. Each athlete who participates in sports gains something throughout the season. Either the player improved his ability and skill, understanding of how to play, became psychologically a tougher competitor, or grew stronger and faster. These are all important aspects of a player’s development that the player will be able to apply to the next season which will help him have more success in the coming years. In addition, we hope the player loves the game more now than when the season started, and that his hunger and joy to play have both grown and are insatiable.

But what about when there is not a next season? What about when the player is done competing, and playing sports is something that is in the rear-view mirror? At that point, what will the player take with him to help him move on to the next step in life? In other words… what really lasts? When there are no more games to play, here are a couple things that will stay with any athlete who had the courage to compete and learn how to play a game:

Active and Healthy Lifestyle

This may be the most obvious, but it is one of the most important things that lasts from playing sports, or I hope lasts for all players, as it positively affects all other areas of an athlete’s life. By playing sports, players tend to learn a great deal about the benefits of exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep, and other healthy habits. This may be more true in some sports than others, but the hope is that the feeling of being in good shape, working hard, getting a good sweat, and that rush from pushing harder and a little farther than you thought was possible never goes away. In a small way, staying active is an avenue a former athlete can use to still compete, either against others or himself.

When an athlete leaves a hard practice or game, there is sense of accomplishment. A great feeling of how the body was pushed and feels stronger. Sometimes after a great game or training session, athletes feel like they can accomplish anything. It is a feeling athletes try to recreate by staying active or seeking out new physical challenges by staying active.

As a coach, this is one thing I really hope sticks for all players. I hope they stay active, and do not allow themselves to let unhealthy habits overcome healthy ones and an active lifestyle they have spent most of their lives being a part of in sports. Outside the lessons and skills of the game, these lessons, I believe are some of the most important for athletes to learn as they can be used throughout the rest of their lives.

Ability to Struggle Positively

Over the course of a playing career, all players will struggle... often. It is part of playing sports. It is expected, and overtime, athletes learn how to struggle positively. They embrace the struggle, look forward to it, feed off it, and understand it is required to improve. In fact, when there is no struggle, and there is no turmoil, it can cause more unrest as the athlete becomes concerned there is no opportunity for growth. They seek out the struggle. They look for paths of the most resistance rather than the least resistance. Not because they don’t know how to work smarter than others, but they know that usually the path of least resistance does not lead them to where they want to go. As it never has before.

With this in mind, athletes develop the skills required to struggle positively. They do not get bogged down or quit when things get hard. They struggle with a smile, and they learn to do it playing the game they love. It is not something they were taught. They had to do it in order to survive on the playing field, and it is what is required to survive the game of "life."

The Need to Help Others

Being a part of a team develops a need to help others that becomes a part of who players are for the rest of their lives. For a team to be successful, everyone must help one another to earn success as a group. A player learns to recognize success, not in just what they accomplish, but what they can help and inspire others to accomplish. To be able to help someone else achieve something they could not do on their own, is more rewarding than any other type of individual accomplishment. To feel whole, to feel successful, can only be achieved by helping others do the same.

This need to serve a greater cause outside of their own interests is part of why former athletes are often very active in their communities and serving others. It is what helped them be successful when they played, and it is what will help them be successful when they are done playing making influential contributions in their communities.

Willingness to Accept Help

This is the flip side of helping others on a team. Being a part of a team, a player needs to accept help from others. They learn they can achieve more with the help of others than they could ever do on their own. Many people refuse to accept help from others as they see it as a sign of weakness or openly admitting they cannot do it alone.

Through playing on a team, a player learns that accepting help is a sign of strength, and an indication of a greater understanding of what it takes to accomplish extraordinary things. They do not just accept help when offered, they often seek it out. Again, when talking about sports and teamwork, the willingness to help others and the willingness to accept help are two key habits that will benefit players for the rest of their lives.

Competition

The ability and willingness to compete is a necessary characteristic of any successful individual. This is not defined by an overwhelming need to win, but the courage to try to reach beyond what they are currently capable of doing, moving into an uncomfortable place, where they could fail. In short, being competitive means they have the courage to take risks. They have the courage to lose, and know how to overcome it. That is what defines a "competitive" person, and it is something I hope all athletes take away from the competition of sports.

Through sports, kids learn how to compete. They do not shy away from what is hard because they might fail. Instead, the embrace the difficulty and do their best even if it is not good enough win. They do not have a fear of failure. They have a fear of what would happen if they did not even try, and that is what it means to compete.

What it Means to Love

I saved this for last as I feel it is one of the most important things players learn from sports. It is often believed that loving something is easy and it only comes with happy feelings and the only is part of the best moments of your life. What is not talked about is the other side of love. The side of loving something that brings heart-ache and the hardest times a person will go through. With the highs and the joy comes the deepest lows and indescribable anguish.

But that is what it means to love. To love something you are willing to sacrifice for it, and even when it hurts you the most, your commitment to what you love never waivers. For something you do not love, maybe just “like” a lot, you will quickly walk away from it when things get hard or you do not get anything in return. But that is not love. To love something you give it your all without expecting anything in return.

Players who truly love to play a game learn this lesson, and learn how and what it takes to love. Often the game is their first love, and they are protective of it and committed to it. It gives them great pleasure and happiness to play, and even on their worst days, they would never want to be anywhere else. Overtime, they find out the reward for loving something so deeply is not what they get in return, but what they are able to give because of how much they love.

For me, this is the most important thing that can last from a child’s experience playing sports once all of their seasons are over.