The Path

One of the most common questions I get from parents about their child is, “What should my child be doing to improve?” Their child has goals and wants to continue to improve as a soccer player, so the parent wants to help their child achieve those goals by directing them down the right path. Their child is showing a passion for the game and seems to love to play. With youth soccer, there are always decisions about where children should play, what type of training they should do, how much training, who they should be training with, how much they should play, and many other questions or concerns. The problem is that there is no single “right” path for every player to take. Each player needs to take the path that makes sense for them. What worked for one player, will not work for another player. To achieve their goals, each player needs to head down the path that is both 1) appropriate and 2) leads to where THE PLAYER wants to go.

Although parents are sometimes frustrated with my answer to this question, I hope that it helps the parents approach the question from the right perspective. There is no set list of things players need to do to continue to grow in this game. The list is very different for each player, and there is never one single decision or choice that will be the reason why the child reaches or does not reach a certain level of play. Like the development process itself, it is a process, it takes time, and it is different for each child.

There is a silver lining to this idea. The silver lining is that the path can be whatever the player wants it to be. With that flexibility, the player will experience the game and enjoy the game the way the player wants to. It is the way that "fits" and compliments the player's interest in the sport. The player never has to fit into a mold that does not support his playing goals and relationship with the game. Of course, there are things players need to learn and develop to continue to improve, but how and when they learn will be different each player. All players need to develop skill with the ball, an understanding of how the game is played, and the physical ability to play the game, but there is not one way to develop any of those areas.

The game itself, many development academies, and top level coaches around the world all give different answers to these questions. All agree on many areas of the path to develop players and disagree on many others. Some coaches feel some skills are more important than others, and may differ on when and how different skills need to be learned. Like any professional field, there are many theories and opinions on the best “path” to take, but there is not one “right” answer for everyone. If there was, the best players in the world would only come from one particular program or coach. At this time, high level players are being developed in very different environments, from different coaching styles, and development philosophies.

As coaches, we look at these differences in opinions and philosophies, and determine how they apply to the kids that we work with. How can that information help us help our kids? We look at best practices from the best coaches around the world, and we try to adapt them to our training sessions and plan for the season to help our players. There is no single right answer, but there are right answers in each particular situation. We just hope the information we have helps us make the best decisions in that moment for our players.

For parents, it is the same thing when helping your child. The more information you have about the game, about the development process, the better you will be at making decisions to help your child take the path that is best suited for your child. You cannot push or manipulate your child down a particular path, but you can work with your child to help him understand the options and make good decisions based on his relationship with the game, and what he wants to do next.

For the player, the path needs to be something he chooses to follow. If at any point the player is heading down a path that either he did not select or does not lead to where he wants to go, he will quickly lose interest in continuing in that direction. This does not mean the path cannot be hard or there will not be set backs on that path, it just means that if the player did not choose the path, those hardships and set backs will be reasons why the player quits versus the reasons why the player grows and improves.

Do I expect a 9 year old to know what “path” he should take with soccer? No, but, at that age, the player should be just having fun and learning how to play. As parents and coaches, we should take into account what type of experience a 9 year old should have when playing the game versus a 16 year old? Again, this would be different based on the interest level of each kid, but fun and development should be part of that path. As kids get older, they can be more active in developing the path as they can make more decisions about their interests and future goals with the game. In both scenarios, the more information parents, coaches, and the players have about appropriate developmental goals at each age group, from multiple sources and experts, it is easier to make an educated decision about a particular child’s situation. But again, that decision should be different for each player based on that player.Too often, we are influenced by the decisions of others for their kids, and then feel obligated to make the same choices for our child.

So what path should your child take? My short answer to the question is this… the path your child should be on is one that he is learning how to play the game, being challenged appropriately for his age group and ability level, is having fun, is showing initiative, and taking ownership of his own development and learning. Pave the "path" with your love and support, and there will be no wrong turns or dead ends.