Coach Captain Obvious

While sitting and watching a youth soccer match, you will hear a lot of things said from either sideline. Often we focus on things that parents say from their sideline that are not beneficial to the players, but what about what is being said by the players’ coaches? Throughout the game, what information is being shared from the coaches’ sideline to the players? This will change drastically depending on the type of coach that is working with your child. High level youth coaches provide information to help players solve the problems of the game and improve their level of play. When mistakes are made, information that is useful to the player to help them have success the next time is provided. Unfortunately, some players will play for coach “Captain Obvious” who does not provide information that helps the players as much as just pointing out mistakes and running commentary of the events of the game.

Think of it this way, it is not enough to just point out issues and mistakes on the field. That is not coaching. It is the lowest level of observation and thought by just stating the obvious over and over again. Also, when a coach only points on mistakes without any information to the player on how to correct it, than nothing is learned.

Does your child play for “Captain Obvious?” Here are some things you would hear from the sideline from this type of coach, and how I am confident most players would like to respond.

“You can’t lose the ball there!”

OK. Please point to the area of the field where it is fine to lose the ball. Next time I “INTEND” to lose the ball, I will do my best coach to make sure I am in that part of the field. Is there anything I could have done different before I got the ball or with my first touch to help me not lose the ball in this “can’t lose it there” area of the field?

“Keep possession!”

Ohhhh, I misunderstood the point of the game. I was TRYING to give the ball to the other team. I thought we got points for each time we lost possession. Any tips on how to keep possession?

“You need to finish those opportunities!”

Are there opportunities that I do not want to finish? Hopefully you understand my intention was to score that goal. I did not miss on purpose because I thought this was one of those opportunities that it did not matter if I scored or not.

“Take less touches!”

You mean take one less than the number I took right before I lost possession? Yea, I guess that would have been a good idea. I am not sure why I feel the need to take all these touches. It is like some type of addiction to have the ball at my feet. Personally, I wanted to give the ball up earlier, but my feet would not let me. How many touches should I take each time I get the ball? Is there some type of chart for me to review?

“Better pass!”

By “better” do you mean one that goes to my teammate versus the other team? You’re right that would be a better pass. Perhaps some advice on how to strike a better pass than reminding me I just gave the ball away. Were you under the assumption I thought that was a good pass?

“Better first touch!”

Again, by “better” you mean one that does not cause me to lose the ball? Yes, again, that would have been better. I am glad you said something. I was actually going to take a worse touch next time and see how that worked out.

“You need to win that ball!"

By win the ball, is there some type of raffle, or do I just go and take it from him? I was under the impression that they are suppose to just give me the ball when they do not want it anymore. If I would have known I am suppose to go win it, I would have done it already. Thanks again coach! This game is so simple.

“You let him get by you!”

Well, he asked nicely. He said, “hey man, can I get by?” So I said, “Sure!” Next time should I say no?

“You have to run!”

Not true. Look up Carlos Valderrama. He rarely ever ran and was really good, and I model my game after him.

“You are out of position!”

Can you perhaps put up some type of markers, or maybe an electric fence to help me know when I am not in “position” during the game? Don’t worry about teaching about my roles and responsibilities, just point and yell.

“You dribbled right into the defender!”

Incorrect. That defender ran right into me. It is his fault!

“Shoot when you get the chance!”

Thank you for permission to try to score when I have the chance. I tend to wait till I do not have the chance to try to score, but I will try your way from now on.

“Get open/No one is moving!”

I keep trying, but this guy keeps following me around. Can we ask him to stop following me? It would make it much easier to get open. But if he is just going to keep following me, I really just don’t see the point.

I know I am being overly sarcastic, but my point is simple. These types of comments are just obvious observations from the sideline from the coach. They do NOTHING to help a player improve or better understand the game. To tell a player who just lost the ball that he just lost the ball, is not what I would consider high level coaching. To tell a player who just missed a shot on goal to hit the target, does not provide any information to help the player do what is being asked.

Instead of telling a player to not lose the ball or score, a coach would provide information to help them be able to do that the next time they get the chance. The player does not need to be told what just happened. He was there and is well aware of what just transpired. What the player needs from the coach, is corrective information that the player can apply to the next time he gets the same opportunity.

Instead of “hit the target,” after a miss, a coach who is trying to teach may say something like, “Take a look before you shoot so you know where you are and get your feet set before your shot.” That is just an example, but it gives the player something to try next time they get the chance to score.

This can be applied to most moments in the game. When coaches speak to the players during the game, instead of just commentating on what just happened, it is much more helpful to provide the players with information to help them improve their level of the play. All the examples I gave do not provide any helpful information to allow the player to have a better chance of having success the next time. Like any great teacher, comments should be designed to either spark critical thinking to solve the problems presented to the player or are hints/tips for them to discover how to find more success in the game. Stating the obvious may sound like coaching, but nothing is being taught (or learned).

Building Real Confidence

Confidence and self-esteem are important for every player to have in order to be successful on and off the soccer field. As coaches and parents, one of our goals is help develop both of these in players over the course of their childhood to help them be prepared for the real world when they are off on their own to face the challenges ahead. Confidence and self-esteem help people deal with adversity by being able to make thoughtful decisions in difficult situations that are aligned with their core values. It helps people stay the course in pursuit of their goals while others tell them it cannot be done or they are doomed to fail. Confidence and self-esteem prevent people from quitting too early. The importance of these traits in a person cannot be stressed enough. With that said, we need to be very careful in how we try to develop confidence and self-esteem in kids as they grow up. Too often, we are too focused on making kids feel confident and have self-esteem through artificial means versus developing the skills that are the foundation that confidence and self-esteem are built upon.

Success does not develop confidence or self-esteem. Confidence and self-esteem develops sustain, life-long success. It is not the other way around. Too often, we try to manufacture situations that kids will have success in order to build their confidence and self-esteem. Although in the short term, yes, a child will feel good about what just happened, but will that confidence last? Is it the type of confidence that will remain the next time the child fails? Or is it more like a big shiny bubble that is great for a moment but will not last? Unfortunately, artificial success creates a confidence “bubble” that will always pop leaving nothing of substance behind.

To build confidence and self-esteem in kids, you are not really focusing on building those things. To build that in a child, the focus needs to be on developing the skills required, and abilities needed, to actually be confidence and self-assured about what they are able to do. To build confidence and self-esteem, a person needs the skills and ability to be successful in whatever they choose to do. Building confidence and self-esteem without any real substance behind it, is like building a house with no foundation. Under the slightest amount of pressure, it will crumble.

For example, a doctor who is confident is normally confident for good reason (at least we hope so). Over a career of developing knowledge and skills to provide the best care possible for patients, the doctor is confident in the ability to diagnose a problem and treat it accordingly. Although the doctor may be wrong at times, it does not hurt the doctor’s confidence or cause doubt in the doctor’s ability to do a great job. But what if the doctor lacked any substantive knowledge or advanced skills, what if deep down the doctor really knew that those abilities were not there? How quickly would the doctor’s confidence and self-esteem fade at the moment that the doctor is challenged or faced with adversity to any degree? How quickly would the doctor shy away from “difficult cases” or give up when a diagnosis could not be found quick.

In relation to soccer, confident players are ones who have the necessary skills to play the game. They are not necessarily the players who are having success. Yes, they may claim to be confident and may even show the body language and demeanor of a confident player, but what happens the first time they are really challenged by the game or another player? What happens the first time they fail? Does the confidence remain or does it quickly fade? Does the player assume he is no longer a good player? Or is the player confident in what he is able to do and recognizes a temporary setback and an opportunity to grow and develop.

Kids are confident and have a high self-esteem when they know they are good at something. When they know they have the skills to be successful, and they can make a positive impact on what is going on around them, they are confident and will shine. When challenged, they do not break. They rely on what they know how to do and what they can do to meet the challenge and overcome it, but even when they fail, it is never from a lack of effort or persistence. More importantly, they do not take it as an attack on their self-worth or confidence, but as an opportunity to learn, grow, and become better. Even in failure, self-esteem and confidence can grow, but only in those who are really confident and have a self-esteem solidified on the substance and value of their abilities.

Too often we are too concerned with the final result, a score, a grade, a certificate, etc… and not concerned enough with what the child actually is capable of doing or what the child actually knows. Think about back when you were in school, and you got an A on a test or a paper. Getting the A is a great thing, and in no way am I saying that trying to achieve high scores is a bad thing. My question is what did you really have to do to get that A, or what did you learn? Getting the A is not what built your confidence or self-esteem. It is what you are now capable of doing or what you now know that was significant. It is what real self-esteem and confidence grows from. If the A was not really earned, nothing was learned, or the child was setup to do well (easy questions, “spoon fed” the answers), then the A really has very little value. Yes, the child may be “proud” of the grade, but then what? What is the child left with besides a memory of a moment that they felt good about something they “accomplished?”

On the soccer field it is the same, we are too concerned on whether a child wins and loses and the effect it will have on their self-esteem or confidence, rather than really looking to see what the child is or is not capable of doing. What is the child learning or not learning how to do? Winning is a great thing, and every player should compete to win, but winning does not build confidence. Ability does. Players can be on a team that wins all the time, but if deep down they know they do not have the skills to play the game, then they are not confident or have a high self-esteem when it comes to soccer. Yes, they feel good and smile after a win. Of course they do, since winning feels good. But the truth is, they are not building confidence to play the game. Why? They have nothing to really be confident about.

Confidence and self-esteem come from one simple question: What can you do? The more skills and ability a person has, the more they are capable of doing, the more confidence they will have in what they do. Past success, does not help a person in regards to what they are capable of at this moment. When the answer to the ability question is “not much,” how would we expect someone to be confident in that scenario. This is why our mission and goal as coaches and teachers is NOT to help kids have success. It is absolutely and most importantly always to help kids DEVELOP SKILLS and ABILITIES to be able to answer that question…. What can you do?

Also, when that becomes the focus, it provides the kid a straightforward answer to what needs to be worked on. Simply, whatever they cannot do right now is what they should be working on to be able to do in the near future. Confident players know their strengths and their weaknesses. They are not ashamed or embarrassed by their weaknesses, but instead use those areas of their game to guide their training and drive to improve. Unconfident players, ignore their weaknesses and try to pretend they do not exist. When those weaknesses are exploited, a player’s’ confidence in his level of play immediately plummets.

Instead of trying to build confidence and self-esteem through artificially, adult manipulated, worthless “victories” or prizes, confidence needs to be developed by making players confident in the skills they possess. In order for them to be confident in those skills, the focus for coaches, teachers, and parents should be to instill those skills, not confidence. Without the skills, there is really nothing for a child to be confident about. Again, yes, having success, winning, getting a good grade, makes anyone feel good, as it should. All I am saying is that it is critical to pay attention to the context in which those things are being accomplished. Are they being done in a way that it is earned by the children through the development of skills and knowledge, or is it being given to the children with little substance or value supporting that success? It is the simple difference between building confidence and building nothing in child.