In Ohio, most teams are winding down their spring season and have tryouts approaching at the beginning of June to select teams for the Fall season. Tryout time is an anxious time to begin with, but this year will add a new level of anxiety and uncertainty with many of the changes taking place for next season. With the change to move to birth year to organize teams and a change in platform for many age groups (4v4, 7v7, and 9v9), there will be some significant differences next year for players, coaches, and parents.
Now, this article is not about taking a position, arguing in favor or against any of these changes. There are plenty of articles and information about that, and I would be adding nothing new to the discussion on whether or not there is validity and/or need for the changes. What I want to focus on is something more important, and what all of us should be really directing our attention to in preparation for the changing landscape of the youth soccer experience.
In my view, coaches and parents have a tremendous opportunity with the upcoming season, and it is an opportunity that is critical for each child’s development so we need to take full advantage. Change is a part of life, and with change often comes a lot of frustration, fear, discomfort and uncertainty. It often drags us, kicking and screaming, into a foreign place where we do not think we will be happy or want to be. Although, if we look hard enough and adjust our attitude, it is in these moments that we find significant opportunities for growth in character, perseverance, and ability.
Every coach and parent should not be looking at the coming changes through the lens of fear wondering how this will negatively affect their child or players. Instead, we should be guiding and preparing the players on how to properly handle the upcoming changes in a way that will help them be better… not bitter.
We have a “teaching moment” ahead of us that we can use with the players affected by the change. A moment that does not come around often. Although most kids wish things would stay the same and their teams would stay together, it not a reality of next season (or life). The life lesson that this situation can be used to teach is a powerful one, and maybe one of the most important for kids to learn. When change occurs that they are not happy about, which will happen often in their lives, how will they respond? Will they get bitter and complain about fairness, try to find loopholes, or ways to prevent the change from happening or letting it affect them, OR will they be able to respond in a better way… a more positive way, the way we hope they will respond to similar situations later in life (when it is much more important).
It is fine not to be happy about the change, or change in general, as there are many times change happens that we wholeheartedly disagree with. Dealing positively with change is not avoiding it or ignoring it. Dealing positively with change is analyzing it, and understanding how it will affect you, and what you need to do to NOT let it stop you from continuing down the path to your goals. Again, change will move us out of our comfort zone, whether we like it or not, forcing us to adapt, learn and develop new skills to deal with the change. But, the consistent “silver lining” is those new skills learned stay with us once we have weathered the adjustment, and we are better for it.
For younger kids, this can be an opportunity to help them prepare for situations they will have to deal with as they get older. If the family moves to a different city, the player will be more comfortable playing with a new team and making new friends. When a player goes to high school, it will make the transition of playing with older players and in a new environment easier. For those who play soccer in college, there will be less fear and discomfort when confronted with the most challenging playing environment experience up to that point.
All of these are moments of change for youth players. The “small” changes coming up this year can begin to help players learn how to deal with the bigger changes coming their way in the future, both on, and off the field.
As kids head into this tryout season, we need to help them look ahead with uncertain optimism. Not being completely sure how everything will end up next season or how the players will be affected is ok as long as the players understand how to deal with the change and focus solely on the things they can control. They need to see the upcoming changes as an opportunity to be challenged as a player and person, an opportunity to play in a different environment with new players, and opportunity to make new friends, opportunity to learn ways of playing the game, and an opportunity to learn how to deal with change.
Our primary responsibility as parents and coaches is to guide our kids and teach them how to do that. It is not to get upset for them or try to shelter them from it.
Change is coming… there is no stopping it now. How we react to and handle the situation as adults will impact how the kids handle this change and learn how to manage change positively in the future. Do not miss this opportunity, an important “teaching moment, that does not come around often. Make this moment about helping your kids learn valuable lessons and life skills. Do not make it about short-term, unimportant things, that really will have little effect on the rest of their lives.
