Like many people, I enjoy sitting down and watching The Bachelor when it is on each year. I feel fine admitting that I watch that show, as I know exactly why I find it so entertaining and baffling. It is ABSURD! It is that absurdity that makes me set my DVR each week to make sure I do not miss a second of the ridiculousness that is sure to unfold. From the people, comments made, fights, “problems” and just about everything else, it is very far outside of the realm of anything that could even be mistaken as real life. The thought I have all the time while watching is… When would this be OK in ANY other circumstance? One guy openly dating multiple women who A) know about it B) live with one another and C) act like they like one another (sometimes) would NEVER happen outside of this television show, and that is ok, it is TV so it is expected and fun to watch.
For some reason though, youth sporting events can turn into their own version of the Bachelor or have the feeling of a reality show because it seems some people tend to lose a grip on reality, perspective, and what is really suppose to be going on during a game. You watch and get that uncomfortable feeling when you really want to change the channel or look away, but you cannot stop watching the spectacle that is unfolding right in front of you.
People’s actions, which seem to be tolerated and accepted as normal at a youth sporting event, would be seen as immature, irrational, delusional, and borderline dangerous in most other social situations. Why do certain people seem to step into some type of warped alternate universe when sitting on the sideline of a youth game? An alternate universe when it is ok to scream at the top of your lungs irrationally at a kid. An alternate universe when it is ok to degrade another adult with constant badgering of their job performance. An alternate universe where the result is a life altering event for all involved. An alternate universe where self respect is a distant second to winning.
When I am at youth sporting events and I watch the behavior of some parents on the sideline and some coaches working with the kids, I often have the same thought I do when watching the Bachelor.When would this be tolerated in any other circumstance? Are these people really like this all the time? I feel like that would be an exhausting way to live. Flying off the handle anytime something does not go your way and deciding the only way to resolve the issue is by screaming at another adult or a child. Is this how these people are at work or around the house? When they go to the grocery store, do they rip into someone who accidentally bumps into their cart? Are you serious! Open your eyes! I am never coming here again!
At home or at school, would it not look a little strange, and probably be frowned upon, to constantly bark instructions to kids as they do any task? Picture a kid walking to their class and an adult following them yelling,
“Walk faster. Hurry! You’re going to be late. Get a drink at the water fountain. Hurry before that other kid gets there! Oh, come on you could have gotten there first! Do you want a drink or not!? You got to want it more! You’re faster than that kid. Ok, find your seat! Really, that is where the teacher has you sit?! That’s not where you can do your best. Get your pencil out! Look, the teacher is writing something on the board. Write it down! Faster! That word is spelled wrong! You know the E is silent! Erase it! That is not how you erase! Raise your hard! Answer the question! Seriously, that was your answer?! You know that was not correct, we went over that last night for an hour! You need to focus!”
Again, this is something I would expect to see on TV as part of show, but would be pretty shocked to witness it go on in real life. Although, you will commonly hear a very similar chain of dialogue from the sidelines at a game from an adult directed to a child.
Sometimes at youth games I look around for a camera crew half expecting to see one. At times, I am convinced a reality show is being filmed and the more theatrical people are, the more likely they will be renewed for one more season. If Toddlers and Tiaras can have a show, why can’t we?
I am just waiting for TV executives to figure out that sidelines at youth sporting events may be some of the greatest undiscovered entertainment out there. Friday Night Tikes may be just the tip of the iceberg. If you have some time, check out YouTube for adults behaving badly at sporting events and you will be amazed, or sadly maybe not, by what you find. Honestly, it is pretty entertaining (not for the kids or adults who had to deal with it). You will be watching and thinking the same thing as me, “This can’t be real?!” Hopefully your reaction is not, “I do not see why this is a big deal. Clearly the official missed that call.”
While kids are competing and trying to enjoy playing a sport, adults cannot be allowed to take over the game with behavior that would not be tolerated in any other circumstance. To this day, I have never seen or heard of a situation where a parent or coach lost control and it was justified. After all is said and done, no one is ever standing around saying, “You know I am glad that parent constantly screamed at the referee. The referee would have continued making the wrong calls if that parent did not speak up!” or “I am glad the coach was screaming at the players the entire game. It made the game more fun for them.”
My college roommate would always say, “Win with pride and lose with dignity.” He played this way on the field and expected others around him to approach the game the same way. From his teammates, coaches, and his parents, he believed any game should never turn into anything other than a competition decided on the field. Some things are out of our control, but we are always in control of how we respond and act. Since we are in control, we need to hold ourselves accountable for how we respond. As an adult at a youth sporting event I would judge my actions based on the following question: Are my actions making this a safe and fun environment for the kids to play?
There are so many awesome things that can be done in sports that cannot be done in other circumstances. When was the last time you did something and everyone huddled around you cheering? When was the last time you made a mistake and you had an entire team of people tell you, “You’ll get it next time.” How often do we get to work hard with a group of friends to try to accomplish something you could not do on your own? These are the things that should be celebrated at youth sporting events. These are the things that are uncommon in our everyday lives that do not get to happen very often. It is the break from reality that the kids DO NEED. Our only job as adults is to make sure the kids get to experience those things all the time, as in the future, when they are older like us, it will not be something that happens every day.
So in the end, maybe youth sports should be an escape from reality, but for the kids, not the adults. As adults, we have the responsibility to live up to our responsibilities while letting the kids get the opportunity to experience being a kid. Let us leave the “crazy” for the reality shows we see on TV where the people are paid to lose sight of what is really important.
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